To know or not to know...

Not to brag, but I'm kind of an expert on all things pertaining to my wife.

I know her really, really well. In fact, I’m pretty sure no one in the world knows her better than I do. I know her eating preferences; I know her taste in movies, music, and fashion; I know what brings tears of joy to her eyes, as well as what makes her fiercely angry. I even know what topic(s) to mention if I want to see her hunch her shoulders and put on her cringy face.

The funny thing is, I never set out to achieve this level of expertise. I just wanted to be with her because I liked her and I was attracted to her.

Now, I’m guessing there are a lot of married people who could say the same thing about their spouse (at least I hope that’s the case). It’s not a new observation, and it’s a fairly unoriginal topic to bring up. So why do I? Well, what I’m curious about is how this happens.

I can’t speak for anyone else, but for my part, I've never interviewed my wife or taken notes documenting her behavior; I've never studied her eating habits or written out lists of questions to grill her with. I've never even compiled a database of facts about her for reference or memorization. I've simply spent time with her; lots and lots of time.

To put it another way: I don’t study her, I adore her. When I stop and think about it, I think the majority of the meaningful relationships I’ve had in life (and still have) have been built the same way. They’ve grown naturally through time and proximity.

As a family, we recently spent some time in Glacier National Park. While waiting at a shuttle stop I started reading an informational sign to pass the time. At the bottom of the sign there was a list of suggested questions to ask other Park visitors as a conversational aid. Even though I knew it was well meaning, I couldn't help but be turned off by the way it smacked of the mechanical relationship building I see in so many corners of our culture. It seems like we're trying to program relationships just like we're trying to program everything else. Our nasty habit of living by formulas has crept into what could be (and should be) the life blood of our existence.

As Christians, it seems like we tend to do the same thing with the idea of knowing God. For decades now we’ve been saying: “it’s not a religion, it’s a relationship”, but the way we actually pursue that "relationship" would seem to indicate otherwise. Our approach is mechanical, clunky, impersonal, and more often than not, treated like some kind of study. (Have you ever stopped to think about the phrase "Sunday school"?)

It would be like me (in the presence of my wife) reciting to myself over and over: "My wife has brown eyes, brown hair, loves gardening, and isn't a huge fan of milk chocolate..." It would be ridiculous. It actually reminds me of that scene from Groundhog Day where Phil is trying to learn everything he can about Rita in order to get her to fall for him on a later go round of the same day. "I like to say a prayer and drink to world peace..." (Spoiler alert: that tactic doesn't work well for him.)

The fact that our God is personal and knowable is actually a really big deal when you consider the other options that are out there in the world religion category.

WE CAN KNOW HIM, NOT JUST ABOUT HIM.

Sure it takes time and effort, but what relationship doesn't?